Moderator: Hang with us folks… Steely Dan is on the line…
Typist: Testing….
Moderator: Welcome to the chat… sorry for the inconvenience
Typist: We’re ready to go!
Moderator: We’d like to welcome Walter Becker and Donald Fagen…who now hate us… Let’s get right to the questions… Donald pick up the phone…
HoopsMcCann: Mr. Becker and Mr. Fagen: Why did you have such a bad experience in Saratoga in 1993?
Walter: Not so fast… I have a question of my own… Certain other chats we’ve done, when I’ve seen them in print, our answers have been followed by exclamation points, by smiley faces, various other emoticons (says Donald)… Nothing like that’s gonna happer hear tonight, is it?
Walter: Jack, aren’t you going to answer my question?
Moderator: No, we won’t do anything cute… just right by the book…
Walter: Straight up the kilt, right, Jack?
Moderator: Let’s get a question from the audience…
Walter: I’m glad we got that straightened out…
Moderator: Are you worried that you might be put in the same class as other famous reunions that were/are just in it for the fast money… i.e., The Eagles…Sex Pistols…The Who…etc.?
Donald: Aren’t they in the “slow” class?
Walter: They’re in the LOW class.
Moderator: Don’t you mean No Class…
MockTurlte: What prompted you to write music to the Mock Turtle Song ?
Walter: Rent was the primary consideration at that time.
eugie: So, why the long layoff…ennui? animosity? trial separation?
Donald: All three.
Walter: And many more as well.
MockTurlte: The world wants to know: PC or Mac ?
Walter: PC or MAC? …Boxers
DaveS: Which of your songs, besides Sign In Stranger, do you consider to be your signature song?
Donald: Ride, Captain, Ride
Moderator: What lyrical themes can we expect from the new album? Can we even expect the new album?
Walter: Of course you can expect a new album…
Donald: You can expect it as long as you want.
Walter: The themes are ennui, animosity, trial separation.
Moderator: Some asked…what’s the Wolverine?
Walter: It was the train that went to from New York Annandale.
Donald: Unless he’s referring to a member of Bix Biederbecke’s Orchestra.
HoopsMcCann: Are you playing a July 13 show in West Palm Beach, FL?
Walter: All right.
Walter: Certain things have long been considered, and if a given set of contingencies come to pass, then it is indeed possible that on July 13th, my partner and I will be, for better or worse, in West Palm Beach, FL.
skadel: Even though digital recording provides a lot of advantages, do you find that there are things you miss about analog?
Walter: I wasn’t finished.
Walter: It so happens that the fate of our summer vacation at this point is in the hands of our managers and handlers.
Walter: It is our fond hope that they will be flooded with requests from our fans.
Donald: Keep your eyes on the web site, baby.
Donald: All will be told.
jbeech: why wasn’t ALIVE IN AMERICA a double cd set? surely, you had enough great material?..
Walter: It was a double album… You mean you only got one in your box?
Moderator: Bruce Hornsby recently commented that he is a huge Dan fan. He has some great chops. Any chance you guys will work together?
Walter: We already worked together, doesn’t he remember?
HoopsMcCann: Josie and I were wondering if you would you guys like to come to the DanVention that is being planned….
Donald: Well, where’s it being held?
Walter: I heard it was going to be the planet Zonar.
Donald: We need more information to make a big decision like that.
HoopsMcCann: It hasn’t been decided yet…
Walter: Plus, we haven’t even been invited!
HoopsMcCann: You are invited!!!
Walter: Sorry, can’t make it.
Moderator: Our friends are rather wicked, no!
Bal : To Donald, Hi from London England, How do you rate Raw Stylus after your input on their debut album?
Donald: I don’t really remember much about that afternoon, but…all the best of luck to y’all.
Walter: As I recall, that was a superb Gary Katz production, so luck doesn’t enter into it.
Donald: Uh-oh… gettin’ evil…
StAlfonzo asks: On the back cover of Countdown. Whose hand is that on the console? You know, the one that isn’t attached to a body…
Walter: We’ve answered that so many times that it’s impossible to answer it again.
Donald: Do some research.
Domino: To the Dan: I find that Fagen’s solo albums are much more “Dan-like” than Becker’s. Was/Is Fagen the more dominant of the duo?
Walter: He’s the one with the tutu.
Donald: And the cat-o’-nine-tails.
Walter: Ouchie!
jbeech: Donald…Why were the only one not to do a solo cover for the N.Y. Rock & Soul Revue CD?…
Walter: 🙂
Donald: Because Boz Scaggs took the tune I was going to do.
Donald: Go figure.
cargo: Any way you guys will release a “Complete Scores” book a la the Beatles?
Walter: We are working on a thorough and exhaustive autobiography.
Donald: Which may or may not include musical examples.
Walter: Depending.
cargo: Complete scores please! I beg!
Walter: Scores at eleven….
HoopsMcCann: What happened in Saratoga in 1993?
Donald: Wasn’t that the Beer Hall Putsch?
Walter: or the Night of the Long Knives?
Geoff: You seem to be doing many interviews these days. Have you mellowed in your attitude toward the press?
Walter: Oh, fuck you!
Donald: Use the Norman Mailer version, “fug.”
MockTurlte: A high ranking official of the Moldavan army recently commented that the source of inspiration for “Gaucho” was Evita Peron and that this is why both of you have a contract with Madonna for a “donation” of double-helix material for he next project. Is there any truth to these rumors?
Walter: Unfortunately, the protocol suggests that the genetic material be collected by the donors themselves. Thus, we are taking a pass.
Aron: WHY AREN’T MY QUESTIONS BEING ANSWERED? I AM VERY EAGER, I’M 15 AND A HUGE FAN.
Donald: Well, what are your questions?
Moderator: Hit me Aron…
Aron: What’s the significance of the cover of “Katy Lied”?
Donald: You may be very eager and 15 and a huge fan, but you’ve gotta come up with some more exciting questions. Read it and weep.
Walter: It was the answer to the question “Katy did?”
Donald: I certainly hope so.
smokin88: Is Keith Jarrett happy with his royalties for Gaucho
Donald: I certainly hope so.
Walter: I certainly doubt it, but I’m fairly happy with mine.
ShinDig: Did you manage to do any work with George Burns before he passed away? I know how much you like old musicians…
Donald: Yes, we did. But it turned out nobody wants hand-painted socks anymore.
Walter: Actually, George was on the Hornsby gig with me.
Domino: Your Alive in America CD booklet contained a recipe for road-chili. Any other interesting cooking tips?
Walter: We have available for a small fee Tamara LeFevere’s excellent recipe for Peking Duck. Any takers?
Moderator: D&W, Is there any connection between the movie Dog Day Afternoon and Don’t Take Me Alive?
Donald: I once went to a party at Gail Lumet’s apartment.
Moderator: Could you please explain once and for all why you both despise dogs?
Walter: Hold it, hold it, hold it! You’re breaking my little Labrador’s heart with that kind of talk. Here, Bodhi!
Donald: Here, Fluffy!
Walter: For the record: my partner, Donald Fagen, and I are pussycats.
Aron: Sorry about the misunderstanding
Donald: You are forgiven, Grasshopper.
Walter: Here’s a couple of tickets to Irvine Meadows on August 9th.
DaveS: Donald, what would be a bigger honor, to make the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame or the Jewish Athletic hall of fame as a ping pong player?
Donald: Is that some kind of crack?
Walter: That’s the kind of remark that’s turning the Internet into SpiteWeb.
Donald: It also goes a long way to explaining why they didn’t like us in Saratoga.
ShinDig: I want you to come to Toronto and sleep over at my place. I have sausages. I have beer.
Walter: Depending on your gender, you may have yourself a date.
MockTurlte: I think our MODERATOR had too many beers tonight
Walter: Is July 28th good for you?
Moderator: Sure man…coming to Toronto??!! I’ll clean my Stones records..
Walter: You mean you’re gonna start late and finish early?
kevin19: Walter, do you ever find living on Maui a bit claustrophobic?
Walter: Yes, but not nearly as bad as New York or Los Angeles.
HoopsMcCann: Are you going to upload the 1970 concert at Oliver’s in Boston that I e-mailed you about on to the home page?
Walter: Yes, I am. As soon as I find the tape again. The question is: Why are you so grouchy?
Donald: Well, I can only speak for myself, but every night I have the same dream in which I’m looking for something in the garage and I catch my scrotum on a rusty nail.
Walter: Ouchie!
Geoff: I host a college radio jazz show, and would love to know what jazz records you’re listening to these days so I can play some for my 10 or 12 listeners.
Walter: Why don’t you bring the audience round to the house sometime?
MockTurlte: Fill in the blanks: Miles Davis was a ___________ who had ____________ influence on SD’s work because of the ________________ character and ________________ nature of his art.
Donald: Oooh! I love Mad Libs.
Domino: Do you guys ever give straight answers?
Donald: No one will ever make anything straight out of the crooked timber of mankind.
Walter: They certainly won’t.
bebop: Will you answer one of my questions so my wife won’t think this Internet thing is a complete waste of my time?
Moderator: Ask it…
Walter: We’ll answer the question, but…
Walter: Where’s the question?
bebop: That was it
Donald: In the case, the answer is no.
M BigUs: what’s the fee for the duck?
Donald: Why a duck?
Walter: Meet me after the show.
Walter: And I’ll tell you.
cargo: Unbelievable. Two brilliant men are being talked to by forrest gump … YOU!
Moderator: Cargo..eat my shorts
Walter: Also by Mountain Gump. Prairie Gump.
Moderator: C’mon cargo..give me yer best shot
Donald: what is this the Moderator Net Show? The Steely Jack show?
cargo: I want to talk to my idols, like the rest of us, about music!
smokin88: PLEASE DONALD…ARE THERE LYRICS TO “THE FINER THINGS” AND WILL YOU EVER RECORD IT?
Donald: That’s an obscure one. Why don’t YOU try writing the lyrics?
Walter: The caps lock button is over there on the left…
ShinDig: How much influence did the big bongo-party movement of the fifties have on your life?
Donald: What is this, some kind of alternative history?
DaveS: How do you audition female backup singers?
Donald: Everyone can make up their own obscene answer to that question.
Walter: I know I have.
Domino: Donald, do you still play sax and guitar?
Walter: May I ask the typist a question?
Typist: Of course…
Walter: What’s your name?
Moderator: Her name is MUD!
Typist: My name…? My name is Dara.
Walter: Tell me, Dara, do you come here often?
Typist: Unfortunately, yes.
Domino: Donald, do you still play sax and guitar?
Donald: Yes, but not at the same time.
Shindig: Is Dara potential “Back Up Singer” Material Walt?
Walter: Well….
Donald: Wait. Let me see if we have an extra tambourine.
Moderator: You doing a Josie and the Pussycats reunion too…?
Typist: I play 11 other instruments besides the keyboard. And I’m a great speller.
Domino: Do you find that the Internet is a good place to pick up women?
Donald: We’ll probably find out something about that today.
Walter: Not bad at all.
Smorgan: What are your perceptions on the Grammys and their control of pop music (or any other)?
Typist: Any more questions for me?
Donald: I think they should give the grandpas a chance.
Walter: I think you’re more my type than Donald’s, would you agree?
asks: Who came up with the cool color scheme for the Web Site?
Walter: Carol Bobolts, whose company is called Red Herring.
Walter: She also did the design for the Citizen Steely Dan box set.
DaveS: Did you worry that the lyrics “landing on the Jersey Beaches” was too Springsteen-esque?
Donald: Bruce always complains about how tough it was growing up in Asbury. My family used to go on VACATIONS in Absury Park. What’s his problem?
HoopsMcCann: Moderator, stop holding back the real questions just because you “don’t like” Cargo and I. Grow up!
Donald: Hey, Jack, pipe down!
MockTurlte: Back to my question — Fill in the blanks: Miles Davis was a ___________ who had ____________ influence on SD’s work because of the ________________ character and ________________ nature of his art.
Donald: Miles Davis was an ARCHITECT
Walter: A doleful…
Donald: because of the manic character and…
Walter: hyperbolic nature of his art.
Donald: Look how that came out.
Walter: well, they can figure it out…
Walter: thanks, Mr. Turlte.
Walter: Now sit down, please.
smokin88: Why did you lower the key on Babylon Sisters on Alive in America?
Walter: Would it be too late in the program to announce the advent of a “kinder, gentler” Steely Dan?
Typist: No, not at all.
ShinDig: Any chance of Larry Carlton returning to the fold? Who’s drumming on this tour? Guitar? Toronto for sure?
Moderator: Which is coming up in ten minutes…stay tuned
Donald: Aren’t these question for the Larry Carlton web chat? Did someone get their wires crossed?
MockTurtle: You should ditch this Moderator
Smorgan: Speaking of Kinder; Walter, would you consider yourself the evil twin in Steely Dan?
Walter: No, I would not.
Walter: although I’d prefer that you do.
HoopsMcCann: The Moderator is causing problems
kevin19: Recently there has been a lot of discussion on the Steely Dan Mailing List as to the origin of the Jungle Music reference in Babylon Sisters. Would you like to clear it up?
Donald: I think, no exegesis if you please.
Domino: Do you find it surprising that a lot of young people are getting into Steely Dan?
Donald: Yes, and vice versa.
cargo: “Home at Last” is one of my favorite songs; was it inspired by Homer’s “The Odyssey”
Moderator: Good question cargo…
bebop: exegesis: critical explanation of the meaning of a literary text (Broke my English language parser)
Walter: No, by Dostoevsky’s The Idiot.
Walter: Spell it any way you want.
Moderator: alt. ex-Jesus
Walter: Hasn’t anyone got any more ambiguous questions for us?
johhn: are you free for breakfast?
Moderator: Are you referring to Dara the Typist, Donald, Walter, or Jack the M.C.?
johhn: all three
Walter: Fine. Include me out.
Typist: We can go after our sleepover.
Domino: Are there any musicians you would kill to work with that you haven’t played with yet?
Moderator: Who would you kill…
Donald: No, but there’s a few musicians we’ve played with that we’d like to kill.
Moderator: Name some names…
Walter: And there are other musicians who wouldn’t be caught dead playing with us.
smokin88: Mark Knopfler
Donald: What’s he doing these days?
Walter: He lost $17 billion on the Tokyo futures market.
DaveS: Was there any pressure from the record label to release Kamakiriad as a Steely Dan effort?
Walter: Some.
Walter: Not enough.
Donald: I don’t know, I got the bends when I came up.
Domino: Do you think that today’s Easy Listening trend will boost your popularity?
Donald: It’s deceptively easy.
Walter: Do you think anything will boost yours?
HoopsMcann: Do you guys still keep in touch with Chevy Chase?
Donald: I have a question. What do hackers use for birth control?
Donald: Their personalities.
Walter: Do we still keep in touch with Chevy Chase…
Walter: Chevy, Donald and I are opening a club together in Los Angeles, it’s going to be called Alfalfa’s House of Yuletide Alpha’s.
MockTurtle: What do D&W use for birth control ?
D&W: The Internet.
Walter: Look for a kinder, gentler question, would you, Jack?
Geoff: Why is your live show so heavily laden with Aja & Gaucho songs. I’d love to hear “King of the World” or “Midnite Cruiser” live.
Walter: Can you be in Cincinnati on Tuesday, July 16th 1996?
Walter: Because, if you can…
Bal: Guys, what’s your favourite drink? Head over to England, University College London Union, ask for Gareth, and you can fill your boots
Walter: Newcastle Brown for me.
Donald: I like an occasional nectar before dinner.
Smorgan: How did the Japanese crowds compare to the American crowds on your last tours?
Donald: Shorter.
Cargo: Do you guys like Bela Fleck and the Flecktones? It seems like you would be fans of theirs, and vice versa.
Walter: Yes, so it would seem. And so it is.
Stamper: What are you guys wearing right now?
Moderator: Hulas…
Donald: what do you look like?
Walter: Dara, let me take you away from all this, please?
conneen: Whose idea was the internet presence? Yours? A handler’s?
Moderator: Antlers’s?
Walter: Whoever’s idea it was is in danger of losing their job right now.
Moderator: All right… a few more questions…?
Domino: Who has been using Riverside Studio lately?
Donald: First of all, it’s River SOUND Studio, not Riverside Studio.
Walter: And I think Wayne Krantz was in there a couple of weeks ago.
Walter: Wayne Krantz? He’s bitchin’
MBigUS: Some possible tour names, please?
Moderator: Here’s the scoop fans…
Walter: On the off chance that there were to be a tour this year, let us drop a couple of names, and see what you guys like, OK?
Moderator: How interactive…!
Typist: I suggest “The Jack Tour.”
Walter: Comeback Betty ’96
Moderator: Come Back Jack!!!
Walter: Dara, make that “JackOFF Tour.”
Moderator: Jack will never help you off a horse…
Walter: How’s about “Rent Party 2000”
ShinDig: Johnny swept the playroom tour…96.
Donald: How about this? “Art Crimes ’96?” Any other suggestions?
Roknrol: The Dash for Cash 96
Walter: “Cavalcade of Ambiguity?” Would that be it? Or not even close?
Walter: How about “Million Dan March?”
Typist: That’s GREAT.
Donald: How about “Sincerely, Steely Dan?”
DaveS: the Royal Spam
Donald: I want to know if we’re getting any feedback out there. Did anyone suggest any tour names?
smokin88: Gouge-O
HoopsMcCann: Steely Dan: Straight Out Of Compton ’96
Walter: How about “Over Ourselves….Not ’96”
Moderator: Looks like Compton’s a keeper…
Donald: My favorite so far is “Two Against Nature.”
Domino: “cant buy a thrill….or a ticket”
johhn: steely dan – our bodies, ourselves
Donald: Let’s have “johhn” make up a list.
ShinDig: Steely Dan: Twelve Steps. The Last one is a doozy.
Donald: Let’s see, we’ve already used “The Two Sexiest Men on Earth.”
Walter: What about something like, “The Portable Steely Dan” ?
Donald: All right, let’s get off the subject. Obviously no one’s interested in it anyway, except johhn and Jack.
Moderator: New questions anyone, before we wrap it up and I go kill myself…
Walter: Is it too late for “Children of Ironic Parents on Parade” ?
ShinDig: How come you stopped playing I.G.Y. after the ’93 tour. I’ve asked this 4 times now.
Donald: I don’t have a funny answer for that.
Walter: We just decided to play something else for a change.
Walter: See? Kinder, gentler.
jbeech: please give us ANY NEWS about the new album!!!
Donald: What album?
Walter: They mean the one we’re working on now, right?
Donald: Oh, you mean “The Two Sexiest Men on Earth” album?
Walter: Not the photo album, the album of music.
Donald: Oh, right.
Donald: It’s coming along. Next question.
Moderator: Well let’s give Walter and Donald the opportunity to get back to TWO MEN…We want to thank them for their warmth, their spontaneity, their wit and their wisdom….
Moderator: But most of all…
Walter: …Dara?
Moderator: we want to go home….
Walter: Stick around, OK?
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